Let\u2019s face it\u2014saying no politely isn\u2019t always easy. On the job or in our personal lives, we are frequently faced with those difficult, awkward moments when we want to say no, yet we know that if it is not said graciously, we may suffer unwelcome consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you refuse your boss when he wants you to work late without him thinking any less of you or questioning your commitment to the job?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you say no to a good friend when you don\u2019t want to hurt their feelings or jeopardize your friendship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you turn down your favorite aunt\u2019s invitation to dinner when she proudly tells you she\u2019s making her infamous Sardine Casserole? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Knowing how to say no with tact and gracefulness in situations like these is a valuable social survival skill. Save yourself from an offensive faux pas, or even worse (gasp!<\/em>), saying yes when you really want to say no. Here are 8 invaluable tips for saying no politely: Say no with kindness and be gentle in your approach. Be courteous. Demonstrate your good manners and sensitivity. Don\u2019t hesitate to express regret, say thank you or apologize, even if only for the simple reason that they were hoping you would say yes and may feel disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m very sorry but I have to say no.\u201d<\/p> \u201cThank you for thinking of me, but regretfully, it\u2019s not something I can commit to at the moment.\u201d If you have a plausible reason for saying no, don\u2019t be afraid to explain it. Giving a brief explanation allows the other person to understand your reason, elicits empathy, and goes a long way towards dispelling any potential ill-feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Mr. Bullwhip. I wish I could stay, but I just can\u2019t work late today. I\u2019m coaching my son\u2019s Little League game this evening.\u201d<\/p> \u201cI\u2019d really like to take on the job but I\u2019m already tied up with another project this week. My apologies.\u201d<\/p><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Try to include a compliment whenever possible. A little praise gives the person something positive to focus on and makes it much easier to accept the negative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour cooking is always so delicious, Aunt Burndet. It kills me to say no, but I can\u2019t join you for dinner tonight. Will you please save me some?\u201d<\/p> \u201cYou did a great job on this proposal. I\u2019m very impressed, but I\u2019m afraid I have to say no at this time.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \n\n\n\n Suggesting an alternative option shows your willingness to be helpful and can motivate the person to think about other possibilities instead of dwelling on your refusal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can\u2019t do it myself right now, but have you considered asking Aunt Burndet to help with the menu? I bet she\u2019d love to do it!\u201d<\/p> \u201cRegretfully, I\u2019m fully booked at the moment, but I have a few great referrals I\u2019d be happy to share with you if you\u2019re interested.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n When the situation warrants it, saying \u201cmaybe later\u201d or \u201cnot now\u201d might possibly spare you from having to give a definite \u201cno\u201d. Use this tactic sparingly, however. While some people may never ask again, you can expect some people to be persistent, and they could become suspicious if it\u2019s somehow never the right time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat sounds like fun, but I\u2019m just not up for it today. Can I take a raincheck?\u201d<\/p> \u201cI wish I had the time, but I really can\u2019t right now. Perhaps we could do it another time?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Depending on the situation, sometimes stalling can get you off the hook. There are polite ways to postpone giving your answer, and they might not ask again. At the very least, it would give you more time to decide how you want to answer if they do continue to ask.<\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat sounds really interesting. I\u2019m going to have to think about it though. Can I let you know?\u201d<\/p> \u201cI appreciate the invite but I\u2019m not sure what I have going on that day. Let me check my calendar and get back to you.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n When the answer isn\u2019t a simple no and you might be willing to participate in some way, don\u2019t be afraid to try a little negotiation. Offering a compromise demonstrates that you really do care, and it just might be a perfect solution!<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019d love to help you move but my back has really been bothering me lately. Could I bring my truck and just be a driver?\u201d<\/p> \u201cI can\u2019t come into the office on Saturday. I\u2019ll have my kids with me all weekend. I wouldn\u2019t mind working on the case from home though, if that works for you?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n If a request makes you feel uncomfortable, sometimes it\u2019s okay to just be honest about it. Showing a bit of vulnerability may be enough to dissuade the person from wanting to impose on you, especially when they comprehend your feelings on the matter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThanks but no thanks. Rock climbing is not for me. I have to confess I\u2019m afraid of heights! I hope you have a great time though. I\u2019d love to see pics when you get back.\u201d<\/p> \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019d like to help but I have a strict policy against loaning money to friends. Please don\u2019t be mad, but please don\u2019t ask. Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019ve been armed with these helpful tips, you just might find it a little easier saying no politely. Good luck! (And whatever you do, watch out for Aunt Burndet\u2019s Sardine and Tripe Casserole!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Let\u2019s face it\u2014saying no politely isn\u2019t always easy. On the job or in our personal lives, we are frequently faced with those difficult, awkward moments when we want to say no, yet we know that if it is not said graciously, we may suffer unwelcome consequences. How do you refuse your boss when he wants […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":982,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[63,9],"tags":[559,562,12],"class_list":["post-980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to","category-writing","tag-salary-negotiations","tag-saying-no","tag-writing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n1. Always be kind<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n2. Give an explanation why<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
3. Say it with a compliment<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
4. Suggest another solution<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
5. Say \u201cnot now\u201d instead<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
6. Buy some time<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
7. Try a little negotiation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
8. Be honest about your discomfort<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n